Is the real worry "I'm bad at football"?
What to say in the thirty seconds after a child puts themselves down.
See what to sayChild Smaller Than Other Kids at Football: What to Do
Confident Beginners
Small is a size, not a verdict.
If your child is smaller than other kids at football, the job is a growth check, a few skills that need no size and the right words from you.
For a long time I measured my child against the pencil marks on the kitchen door frame after every match, as if the answer were up there. The answer was on the pitch: a child who kept getting turned over and had stopped asking for the ball.
Start here
Child Smaller Than Other Kids at Football: The Short Answer
Do not try to fix the size. First check that growth looks ordinary, then work out whether the worry is confidence or safety. For confidence, practise three skills that need no size: look before the ball arrives, stand side-on and turn away. For safety, step in if your child is being bowled over. Then ask the coach three questions.
Size alone is not a medical question. One NHS trust leaflet says to see a GP if height has not increased in six months or if your child has dropped to a lower centile than before (an NHS trust leaflet on short height in children). It also says to see a GP if you are worried about overweight with short height, or if other symptoms such as tummy pain, headaches or frequent infections come with it. It adds that most children referred for short height do not need treatment. That is one trust's leaflet about growth, not about football, and it does not say any child is short.
One coach who writes on this says to judge a small child on what they do with the ball and to teach ways through a size mismatch, rather than waiting for a growth spurt (one coach's advice on small players). That is one coach's opinion, not a study. An undersized child's football confidence rests on skill and kind words, not on a growth spurt.
The order on this page is my arrangement of that advice for a garden and a Saturday, not a tested programme, and it is not medical advice. If your child puts themselves down in words, start with what to say when a child says "I'm bad at football".
Confidence or safety?
Small Child Playing Football With Bigger Kids: Read the Game First
Watch ten minutes of a game before you decide anything. A small child losing the ball is ordinary, but a small child being bowled over is not.
Reading the touchline
| What you see | What it usually means | What to do |
|---|---|---|
| Gets knocked off the ball, gets up and goes again | An ordinary size mismatch. The child is coping. | Say nothing during the game. Practise one skill at home this week. |
| Stops going near the ball and hangs at the edge | A confidence signal, not a skill gap. | Do not push. Ask once, after, "What was the hardest bit?" and start with the first skill below. |
| Is bowled over again and again, or lands hard on the ground | A safety signal. The gap in size or strength is too big for this game. | Step in calmly and ask the adult in charge for mixed teams or fewer children per side (England Football's guidance on 3v3 games). Leave if it carries on. |
| A much bigger child is shoulder-charging or taking hard shots | Rough play, not a fair contest. | Tell the adult in charge, move your child to another part of the game or leave. |
| Is always sent in goal or to the back, or is often substituted | Possibly being protected rather than included. | Ask the coach the three questions further down. |
| The ball is too big for them to control | A size mismatch you can fix. | Check the ball with the age guide in what size football for kids. |
| Has not grown in six months, or has dropped down the growth chart | A growth question, not a football one. | See your GP, as the NHS trust leaflet says (NHS trust leaflet). |
None of these signs is a verdict on your child. They tell you where to step in. No study sorts these signs, so they are my reading of the sources and common sense.
Do this in order
Too Small for Football? Three Skills That Need No Size
Small players are taught to shield, release the ball earlier and use their body side-on, and none of that requires them to be bigger first. That is the sort of advice coaches give (one coach), and it is one coach's opinion with no study named.
Take three evenings, five minutes each, one skill per evening.
- 1
Look before it arrives. A child who has seen where the nearest player is has a choice. Play the one-touch stop game in first touch freeze, and add one rule: head up once before the ball arrives.
- 2
Stand side-on. Shoulder to the challenger, ball on the far foot. The shielding page has the whole game, with the grown-up kneeling so the contest stays fair.
- 3
Turn away. When keeping it is not possible, one turn takes the ball somewhere else. The escape turn has the steps.
Here is my own tweak, the early release. Count how many times the ball leaves your child's foot before a grown-up gets within one step. That is my own idea, not a tested drill, and it rewards passing early, which does not depend on size.
One evening per skill is a guess from experience, so repeat any evening your child enjoys.
Words that are true
My Child Is the Smallest in the Team: What to Say
Children can see the size gap, so a line that denies it falls flat. Say what is true, then offer something to do, and do not compare (a charity's advice on children who feel smaller).
"You're right, it's harder when the other kids are bigger. That's a real thing. Shall we practise the bit that felt hard for five minutes tonight?"
Lines to drop
- "You'll grow soon." Nobody can promise that, and your child hears "I'm not enough yet".
- "Size doesn't matter." They can see that it does in a scrap for the ball.
- "Look how big that one is." Comparing your child with other children, or with siblings, adds pressure (WithAll).
Before the game try: "Shall we see how many times you can pass early today?" In the car try: "What was the best bit?"
If you talk too much during play, what to say during play keeps it to one sentence per go. No line is magic, and none comes from a trial.
Away from the pitch
Talk to the Coach: Three Questions to Ask
The FA's parents' guidance says to know who your child's coach is, how they will communicate with you and how to get feedback on your child (the FA's guidance for parents and carers). Ask in a private moment, away from the pitch, never on the touchline mid-game.
- Touches. "Is there a way my child can get more touches, in smaller groups or a smaller game?" England Football says its youngest 3v3 format gives more touches of the ball and more playing time (England Football's guidance on 3v3 games).
- Fair games. "Could teams be mixed up sometimes, or children paired by size?" The same guidance says it is fine to mix teams or play 3v2s and 2v2s as long as everyone plays. Pairing by size is my inference from that, and the guidance covers the youngest format only and says nothing about size or injury.
- A job. "What would you like to see from my child over the next month?" A coach who gives a smaller child a specific way to cope is better than one who quietly benches them (coach advice).
Sign up to and follow the club's code of conduct (the FA). If the worry is about unfair treatment or something beyond football, speak to the club welfare officer, whose name the FA says to keep in your phone.
If it is a first session, what a first football club session looks like helps you judge what is normal.
What is known and what is not
What the Evidence on Size and Young Footballers Says
The NHS trust leaflet gives the GP criteria for short height and says most children referred do not need treatment (NHS trust leaflet). It is one trust's leaflet about growth, not a study and not about football.
A consensus study of sport-science practitioners agreed that the period during and after peak height velocity is a priority maturity-related injury risk in youth soccer (a consensus study on maturity and injury risk in youth soccer). It is expert consensus, not a trial, and it concerns academy players aged 9 to 18, mostly 13 to 15, with an English-speaking panel of sport scientists only. It says nothing about a 5 to 9 year old in a garden or a Saturday kickabout.
An explainer describes bio-banding, which groups players by maturity instead of birth date, for academy players aged 11 to 15 and calls the evidence "developing" (an explainer on bio-banding). A parent cannot ask for it at a kickabout.
A Swiss registration study of 101,991 youth players found small relative age effects at the youngest levels, which shrank in older groups (a Swiss study of relative age in youth football). It is an association in one season of registration data, with about half of clubs supplying data. It is not about the smallest child and is not proof that anyone will drop out.
The practical advice on skills and wording comes from a coach and a children's charity, which is opinion, not trials. No study tests a plan for a small 5 to 9 year old. I would rather tell you the plan is a sensible order than pretend a study proves it.
Quick answers
Common Questions About a Small Child at Football
Is my child too small to play football?
Size alone does not decide it. Judge a child on what they do with the ball (one coach). If height has not increased in six months, or your child has dropped to a lower centile, see your GP (NHS trust leaflet).
How can a small child cope against bigger kids?
Teach them to look before the ball arrives, stand side-on and turn away. One coach says these need no size (one coach). The three skills are linked above.
What should I say when my child says they are too small?
Say what is true and offer something to do: "It's harder when the others are bigger. Shall we practise the hard bit tonight?" Do not promise they will grow, and do not compare them with others (WithAll).
Should I talk to the coach about my child's size?
Yes, in private and away from the pitch. Ask about touches, mixed teams and one thing to work on (England Football, the FA).
Is it dangerous for a small child to play with bigger children?
Watch the first ten minutes. A scramble or a shoulder charge from a much bigger child is the risk. Step in, ask for mixed teams or leave. The injury research I found is about older academy players (consensus study).
Will my child catch up in size?
Nobody can say. Most children referred for short height do not need treatment, and the trust leaflet lists when to see a GP (NHS trust leaflet).
Keep going
Where to Go From Here
Three places to go next, depending on what you saw. If clumsiness is part of it, helping a clumsy child learn football has what helps and what to say. For growth-related knee pain and football, knee pain below the kneecap has the details.
Want one skill to start with tonight?
A body position that keeps the ball when someone bigger arrives.
See the shielding gameWant more for nervous beginners?
Gentle games and plans for a child still finding their feet.
See Confident BeginnersTonight's five minutes
Pick one skill, then keep one question.
Tonight, play one of the three skills for five minutes and add the head-up rule. At the next session, ask the coach one question from this page, away from the pitch.